"My Harry has been dead for 12 years, and he calls me on the telephone sometimes, he always tells me how much he loves his comfortable coffin."   --Barbra, age: 94

"After my son died, I felt great relief, I got him the best coffin he could get, and it was really cheap also!" --Annonymous

"I was afraid that Luke was going to get eaten by rats after they had eaten through several coffins near his, but he wasn't eaten.  His coffin was nibbled on in attempt to open it, but those darn rats never penetrated it!"  --Luke's Wife, age: 12

"After the zombies infested our town, I didn't know what to do, so I ordered a Matt's Casket Co. Casket and had myself buried alive.  I don't know what I would have done if it weren't for Matt's Casket Co.!"  --Annonymous